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Is stress slowing killing you?

By | 2018-06-18T14:45:11+00:00 June 18th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General|

When you encounter stress, a physical change take place in your body. These changes allow you to react quickly and to use your body's resources to cope with the stress. The changes that occur can be either helpful or harmful. Their effect depends on your response the length of time they last coping strategies, you use. 3 Stages of Stress As your body copes with stress, it must adapt, or adjust, to the stressor and the changes it causes. This process of adapting, called the general adaptation syndrome, occurs in three stages. The three stages are; Alarm stage Resistance stage Exhaustions stage … Read More

Identifying your critical tapes that create stress

By | 2018-06-14T12:40:08+00:00 June 14th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Self Esteem|

How willing are you to acknowledge unhelpful attitudes and beliefs that you may have? Some of these may be unexamined ways of thinking about yourself and your life that were given to you by parents and other early caregivers. They may not really be your attitudes and values, but they were put there so early on, it is hard to tell that they do not belong with you. You can recognise them because they are often distorted, exaggerated, self-critical, or self-defeating “tapes” that re-play over and over again in your head, causing personal anxiety, self-doubt, stress and depression. Some examples are: Rigidity … Read More

Resolve Marriage Issues Early

By | 2018-05-02T12:36:10+00:00 May 2nd, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, Marriage Counselling|

Working with couples for 10 years now I often see a theme that occurs in relationships. The relationship is no longer a priority, as important as it use to be.  If this continues long term it can be damaging to the quality of the relationship and the longevity. Focusing on some very practical easy skills can create enormous change in your relationships if you do not leave it too late to try.  Prepare/enrich is a terrific resource to begin making some changes. DAILY DIALOGUE AND DAILY COMPLIMENTS Daily Dialogue is an intentional effort to talk about your relationship, rather than discussing your … Read More

Acceptance is a choice, not a feeling.

By | 2018-05-02T11:51:24+00:00 April 27th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Self Esteem|

Acceptance is a journey that starts with a conscious decision. When we are suffering we have pain.  There is a gap between our reality and what we want.  When acceptance is lived it softens the pain.  A death, divorce, loss of a job, any change that has occurred that we are struggling with.  We may not like it or want it but its out of our control.  What is in our control is how we accept it. There are tools that can help us progress, but the process is unique for each one of us. You may need to try some different … Read More

Lonely in your relationship?

By | 2018-03-29T10:59:31+00:00 March 29th, 2018|General|

This is very common and a pattern that couples fall into.  Both feel disconnected and lonely and not talking about it.  All they talk about is the kids and planning and not too much else.  Couples fall into parallel lives living alongside each other like roommates or flat mates doing their own thing.  And they can’t remember the last night they had a date night. Have you heard that expression if you keep doing the same thing you will get the same results.  Try something different before it becomes serious and you end up going you're different ways. Here’s some ideas: Tools: … Read More

Learning to be happy where you are

By | 2018-03-29T10:14:45+00:00 March 29th, 2018|General|

  I will be happy when I get the better job, partner, house, car, bank balance, health, blah, blah blah. You’re setting yourself up for disaster.  Have you noticed when you get the better job, relationship, house you initially feel good but then the same mind filling chatter occurs and feelings of frustration, agitation, discontentment and more. It’s a continuous cycle of thinking its out there your happiness and if I keep searching I will find it.  If I try harder, work harder, push harder it will happen this happiness. Stop right there. Happiness is an inside job, your inner work that … Read More

Create “Your Best Life”

By | 2018-03-20T14:24:45+00:00 March 20th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Life Coaching, Self Esteem|

To create your ultimate life takes commitment, time and daily practice.  Intuition is crucial as you will trust your inner voice and what is right for you. Start each day with the intention of being intuitive, of listening to your inner voice. A great way to do this is by using affirmations, which are positive statements that we repeat over and over again. Affirmations can be used in any area of your life. They reinforce to your mind the outcome that you are looking to achieve. For example, choose an affirmation such as ‘I love and approve of myself’ or one relating … Read More

Are you living from the head up?

By | 2017-12-13T17:06:29+00:00 December 13th, 2017|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Self Esteem|

Are you numb, show little emotion, going thru the motions and don't feel much? You may be living from the head up which means you overthink and are just living in your head.  A monkey mind? We sometimes do that due to trauma, extended period of stress, as a child not being able to say what you fell and think. Its fixable if you want to.  A great place to begin is acknowledging what you're doing and deciding you want to change.  Sometimes you may need support with therapy or you may be able to work on this yourself. Many people need … Read More

Home coming using meditation

By | 2017-11-15T08:43:48+00:00 November 14th, 2017|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Newsletter|

What do you get from meditation? An inner peace, a home coming to yourself, energy, contentment, centeredness, a grounding and I can go on and on......... You ask, how can meditation give me all of this? Meditation can be the heading and under it is self care, nurturing and stillness. If you give it time at least 4 to 8 weeks you will begin to feel the changes within yourself Meditation is the art of focusing all of your attention in one area. Mastering the skill of meditation takes time and requires practice. The benefits of meditation include: • Connecting to your … Read More

Tune up your relationship today

By | 2017-11-14T09:47:37+00:00 November 14th, 2017|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General|

How does your relationship stack up? Start a conversation today ( yes we all put it off to wait for the right time) with your partner to elevate your relationship. A relationship takes time and commitment and we all deserve to have a fulfilling relationship. If you’re not in one start asking yourself questions as to what can I do to change the situation. Create the space for you both to share how you are feeling. Here's some ideas to tune up your relationship. Start with one and work towards doing more in the future * Spend quality time together where you … Read More