There is no perfect mother – or perfect child Do you know one? Are you always striving to be that perfect mother? A good enough mother is good enough! If we can accept being good enough ourselves, it will help us accept our children as good enough – not perfect.
What is a good enough mother? A good enough mother is someone who does the best she can in her own particular circumstances. She may not be able to do everything she would like to do – or her children would like her to do – but that’s all right.
Our goal as parents should not be to create a perfect world for our children. That is not the world they are growing up in, or will have to function in.
Mothers want their children to be happy. Trying to make children happy all the time is not good for them or us.
It leads us to buy things for them that we can’t afford, and do things for them against our better judgment. It leads children to believe they should have whatever they want – in order to make them happy.
More importantly, in trying to make them happy no matter what, we are not helping them learn how to deal with the fact that life has disappointments, and that they can survive those disappointments.
It is hard for mothers to see their children disappointed – or even angry at mom for those disappointments. But being a good enough mother means accepting a child’s frustration or disappointment – and anger – just as her child is learning to do so.
Being a good enough mother means being someone who at times blows up at her kids, someone who is sad at times or preoccupied with other worries when her kids may want her attention.
In other words, she is a real person who accepts all her feelings, even her feelings of guilt – which doesn’t mean she is a bad mother. She knows she is only human, and knowing that, she can accept her children and their failings as only human, too.
The above saying was sent to me from a client who is embracing that she is good enough. She doesn’t have children but imagine one day if she does and she innately embracers her good enough how that will be passed on to her children. A good enough mother is good enough