Are you numb, show little emotion, going thru the motions and don’t feel much?
You may be living from the head up which means you overthink and are just living in your head. A monkey mind?
We sometimes do that due to trauma, extended period of stress, as a child not being able to say what you fell and think.
Its fixable if you want to. A great place to begin is acknowledging what you’re doing and deciding you want to change. Sometimes you may need support with therapy or you may be able to work on this yourself.
Many people need life to be constantly planned, busy and go go go. When you know it’s busy there is no time for down time, stillness, getting out of the head and connecting into the body and what you’re feeling and being playful and having fun.
A woman said recently that she had had several hours of doing nothing on the weekend. The others at the lunch table remarked that that must have been nice. She replied that it wasn’t really, as she didn’t know what to with herself! A huge stressor in modern life is the relentless time and task demands. The antidote is to have time: time when nothing is expected of you, time to play and renew.
Non-work activities as hobbies and leisure are integral to the full expression of ourselves as human beings and getting out of our head. Its so very important to proactively schedule in time and energy for creative and self-expressive pursuits, play activities, and growth hobbies.
- Arts and crafts
- Taking in concerts and museum exhibitions
- Play can be something as simple as laughing with a friend or chasing a beloved pet around the garden.
- Walking in nature
All of the above and more can all bring us to another level of awareness, which short-circuits the stress response and gets us out of our head.
The goal is to recreate, to let go of burden and responsibility rather than to demonstrate more competence or status to the world and trying to work it out in your head. What we choose will ultimately be a function of factors such as our stage of life, what is available in our environment to do (including cost-wise), and what our personality preferences (including introversion and extraversion) dictate that we should choose. The point is to simply enjoy ourselves, thereby refilling the emotional tanks left empty by the stressors of daily living and trying to work it out in your head..
R and R periods such as holidays serve a similar purpose. The absence of phone calls, television, social media, and freedom to not engage with what you normally do particularly work is extremely beneficial.
Happiness I believe is relaxation whatever that is for you.
Self-care rituals: Not really confined to any one category, self-care rituals span the spectrum of body-mind-spirit strategies for managing stress. They may be something that we physically perform, such as an elaborate relaxing bath, or something that we take mental/emotional space in order to do, such as a daily visualisation program. But they are organised with the idea of calming and centring ourselves to compensate for the chaotic, hurley-burley of life and get us out of our head. . In this, they gently bring us to another perspective. Scan your mind for such activities in your life. Which rituals might you have? Have any of them been started in order to support you? Would you like more rituals? If so, of what type?
The biggest gift I have given myself is daily mediation to tame the monkey mind. Give it a go everyday for 2 months and then you will begin to feel the benefits. Reduced stress, less worry and feelings of contentment and calmness. This may be not be enough for some people and counselling would be recommended.