So your marriage is in trouble and your not sure how much longer you can live with the unhappiness and disconnection your feeling.
Most of what keeps us stuck are the fearful thoughts running through our minds. To attempt to make sense of what is likely 60,000+
thoughts each day, we begin talking to others…and all that talking ismany times, the very thing that keeps us stuck.
stuck in the pain…
stuck in the stories…
How do you move forward and gain clarity and direction?
Firstly pick very carefully who you talk to too discuss your marriage.
1. People who will not tell you what to do
2. Not judge
3. Not take sides
4. Will listen
Sometimes its helpful to speak to a professional like myself. I can quickly ascertain that often there is old tapes playing and your both being triggered by each other. You both need to attend to that and let go of baggage that is suffocating the marriage.
No Decision is a Decision
When we’re facing a life changing decision, it’s easy to see how we can become stuck, trapped and frozen in our steps. But understand that not making a decision, or deciding to remain in the status quo is, in fact, making a decision.
It’s making the decision to stay stuck.
You don’t have to know what the end looks like. Whether it’s staying in your marriage or lovingly releasing your marriage, there is no way to
know exactly what life will look like one year from now.
As humans we so often need to have the answers and need to know now. So, when it comes to something as important as your marriage all you have
to know is what’s the next step you need to take that will give you greater clarity to help you make your decision in time.
Scheduling time together will help you see if there’s a new version of your existing relationship that can emerge; maybe even one that you’ve
never seen before (because the existing relationship clearly isn’t working).
Spending time apart can give you information about whether you miss your partner more than you thought you would or you finally feel free
and at ease.
At this point, don’t allow the big question of, “Should I Stay or Go?” stop you from answering the smaller questions along this journey. Each
step you take gives you more and more information and then no next step can ever be a mistake.
Remember it’s a journey and by putting your head in the sand that is achieving nothing. Reflecting, feeling, talking, looking at your marriage with your partner while your in it. Doing the work that is needed to make a decision about the status of your marriage. Taking one step and achieving that is a step in a direction regardless if you stay or go. Too many people have regrets that they didn’t work on there marriage and gave up on it too quickly.