Can you really trust your partner again

Can you really trust your partner again? Marriage needs trust and without it, it’s very difficult to have a harmonious empowered marriage. Being able to trust your partner is the most important part of being in a relationship.

Trust generally is the act of placing confidence and being able to depend on someone or something.

Your life’s experiences can impact your ability to trust others. The issue of trust and relationships focuses on the question of whether the partners are faithful and honest enough to one another.

I see trust and marriage very much like a garden that you attend to every day. You give your garden attention, you water it, fertilise it and prune it when needed. What happens when you don’t attend to your garden every day? It becomes neglected and starts to break down and problems begin to occur. The plants are weakened and some die, just like your marriage.

When this happens, you have to both decide if you are going to recommit to the marriage and put in the Will, Want and Work to create a happier more trusting marriage or walk away.

When we are a child, that’s where we learn about trust and love, our first family.

Were you able to express emotions?
Were you able to count on your parents?
Was speaking your truth safe?

As adults, we carry our old programming including fears, abandonment, rejection, trust issues and our stories from the past. Sometimes we get triggered and act out and cause destruction and are unable to communicate what has happened or what’s going on for yourself.

It’s best to build and maintain trust than repair trust.

The action step needed is to decide to trust again.

Perhaps a risk and is it a risk worth taking?

Here are some ways to build trust if you have decided to recommit to your marriage.

Communication is essential:

Communicate your problems instead of sitting on them.

Face to face and with eye contact.

Learn to say NO:

A crucial key in a marriage. How to trust in a relationship if you feel stifled by giving in to your partner’s demands, reasonable or unreasonable?

You don’t have to say yes every time to everything your partner wants or proposes to do. To build trust in a relationship it is important to remember that if you don’t like something he or she proposes to do, simply say no. You shouldn’t be forced to endure what you don’t like. When a relationship is based on equality, it will be easier for both of you to move forward.

Share your inner world with your partner, no secrets:

Transparency is crucial in a marriage. Openness and honesty. Share your world, your dealings and your conversations. No kept secrets as this is so damaging to a marriage. Being vulnerable and to share will encourage your partner to do the same.

Having clear boundaries:

This builds trust. Being honest with the time you need a part, the time you need with friends away from your partner. Your downtime, your hobbies and what you need to feel comfortable in the relationship physically and emotionally.

Always keep your promise:

If you promise your partner, you’re going to do something, do it. Keeping your word is building trust, big things or small things is much the same. You are building trust in your relationship. Turning up on time, picking up the milk from the shop, as much as it may seem small it’s important.

Always take 100% responsibility for your actions:

We can easily blame however to build trust owning your own behaviours and actions is crucial. Be honest with yourself as to your actions and inactions and your behaviour.