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How to not lose your identity in your marriage

By |2019-10-07T20:45:09+10:00October 14th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Life Coaching, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem, Self help, Unlock all of you|

I work with a lot of individuals who have lost their identity. It’s very painful and you will be suffering greatly if you are feeling this. I did, and I know firsthand what it feels like and what is needed to come back from this. What is losing your identity, what does that mean? You cannot make decisions for yourself Loss of confidence and self-esteem A shell of your old life and who you were Given up your social life and your own interests You compromise your wants and needs for your partner Your feeling unhappy, negative, sad, angry or frustrated. You … Read More

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Living in your marriage with acceptance

By |2019-09-27T21:39:06+10:00October 7th, 2019|General|

When we don't have acceptance of our partner, it creates pain. We want our partner to be different and we want our reality to be different. Today, I am going to give you 7 ways of how to live in your marriage with acceptance. However, sometimes there are some things that are very difficult to accept. If you're living with a partner who drinks a large amount of alcohol and then becomes abusive. If you're living with a partner who smokes marijuana every afternoon and just shuts down. If you're living with a partner who is very disrespectful to you. If you're … Read More

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Knowing when to end your marriage

By |2019-09-19T20:08:17+10:00September 30th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Life Coaching, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

If you're thinking about ending your marriage, you're likely to be facing one of the most difficult decisions of your adult life. Many people struggle for a very long time before making a firm choice about whether to stay or go. Today I am going to cover : The eight red flags that could be occurring in your marriage Primary reasons people stay Questions to ask yourself What to do before making any major decisions The eight red flags that could be occurring in your marriage You are not communicating anymore outside what is necessary and even that content is negative. Most … Read More

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Move the boredom in your marriage

By |2019-09-19T20:06:49+10:00September 23rd, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Life Coaching, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

Marriage is one of the few things that can get more challenging over time. If you're with someone long term, you can begin to take your marriage and your partner for granted and it can become boring. Are you feeling like you're trapped, you're stuck, you're in a rat and your marriage has gone stale? Are you beginning to fantasize about being with other people or another partner? Are you beginning to look outside of yourself and compare your relationship with other relationships? Are you constantly wondering what you're missing out on? Are you asking yourself if this is as good as … Read More

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Victim or Victorious Marriage

By |2019-09-16T11:48:12+10:00September 16th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

Most of us have relied on people and programs to motivate us and give us courage at some time in our lives. But the bottom line is that in the end, we each must motivate ourselves; there is no easy way around it. Victorious is about developing your own strength so that you can be successful, triumphant and the best version of yourself. It means becoming the number one person in your life, building up your self-esteem and recognising how awesome and brilliant you are which ripples thru into your marriage. Looking outside of yourself for your partner to do this … Read More

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Living with Emotions in your Marriage

By |2019-08-19T18:25:38+10:00September 9th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Life Coaching, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

Do you keep all your feelings inside until you reach a point where you explode? Does the slightest thing tip you into behaving like a “crazy person”? Is your reaction to a situation over the top for what’s presenting? Some people repress their emotions to cope. It is simpler to keep the emotions buried, rather than let them surface and be forced to experience them. It seems easier to live in your head and hide from the feelings. However, emotions build-up, which is unhealthy in the long-term. These emotions stay in your body on a cellular level until you bring that emotion … Read More

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Bring your sexy back in your marriage

By |2019-08-19T13:40:53+10:00September 2nd, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling|

Sometimes we can get caught up with the busyness of life and before you know it the two of you are friends, not intimate partners.  The longer you leave it the harder it is to come back from this.  It’s not going to get easier so it’s about facing it head-on and looking at what you can do to “bring your sexy back in your marriage.” 10 Ways to Bring your sexy back Get nostalgic: Remember when you first got together and share memories of those early days. Recapture some of that “spark” by recreating fond moments, visit an old haunt, get … Read More

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Couples can overcome infidelity

By |2019-08-19T16:44:45+10:00August 26th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling|

Shirley Glass and John Gottman have done some great research on infidelity and their conclusions are positive.  It comes down to what you do after the infidelity has been revealed or discovered. Couples, they must go through a process of healing, Gottman calls the overall process atonement, attune and attach. Atonement: Healing after an affair cannot occur without the offending partner’s continual expression of remorse. I sit in my counselling practice and sometimes I can see which couple is going to be able to move through this. Why? because the offending person is feeling remorse and really feeling it through every cell … Read More

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11 tips on how to overcome the shock of infidelity

By |2019-08-19T13:35:35+10:00August 19th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling|

On average I would get one couple a week who’ve experienced infidelity. People experience an array of emotions from sadness to anger, shock, disbelief. If your partner cheats, it's hard to understand why they would do that. What you do and what you decide to do afterwards is so important and so, therefore, I've created the 11 tips from the shock of infidelity. 1. Take a very, very big deep breath because you will be in shock. Scream, yell and cry. I think far too often people just don't give themselves the time and space to simply be. And what I mean by be, … Read More

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The four most damaging behaviours in your marriage

By |2019-08-11T18:38:51+10:00August 12th, 2019|General|

1. Criticism, which is when you attack your partner with something that you’re saying is globally wrong with him or her. For example: “You always ignore me in the afternoons.” “You never care about me.” Over time criticism wears down a relationship and erodes the self-esteem of both partners. It doesn’t make for a happy relationship and is not supportive for a healthy partnership. There are times when feedback is necessary, but it should not be conveyed in a critical way. For example: “I felt ignored and upset when you didn’t answer me this afternoon.” Feedback is best conveyed using language such … Read More

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