Are you living with a man child? What is a man child?
A man child is an individual who is immature for their age. Sometimes men who were overly nurtured as children and their parents protected them to a point where they did not get to experience disappointment and consequences due to making some mistakes.
Teaching a child to think that he is always right is never to blame and does not have to handle tasks and responsibilities either at home or at school literally stunts his maturity and growth as an individual.
Parents take protective measures to make sure their child is happy and safe, but they often go too far. When they do, their intentions are good, but the results are ruinous for their child in the long run.
When people do not fully grow up, they farm out the hard work of adulthood to those closest to them. It can be subtle, but if you are making excuses, stop and reflect on why you’re picking up after a grown man.
This can be anything from the mundane—picking up his clothes and food items around your shared living space—to the more serious, such as picking up after his unpaid debts, picking up the tab more often than not, or picking out Christmas or birthday gifts for his family.
7 Man-Child Behaviours
- He has extremely poor awareness: He believes he has no emotional baggage or family dysfunction.
- He thinks recreational drugs, particularly pot, are just fine to use. He doesn’t give weight to the health effects, lazy mentality, or negative influence that his poor choices will have on your young children.
- He is not employed in a “career.”He may go from job to job or try to avoid working at all.
- His main hobbies involve electronics Playing video games for hours and not balancing it up with exercise.
- He does not share the load at home. He does not do ANY cooking, cleaning, or laundry. If you ask him to help, he acts like it is a huge deal.
- He can’t express himself maturely. There is no “manning up” when necessary. No back and forth discussions that lead to problem-solving. He complains, whines and thinks everything is unfair. He is petty and keeps score. He may even throw all-out temper tantrums. You will always be the one to bring up important issues for discussion. He is great at pretending that nothing is wrong.
- All of his friends behave similarly. You may have met some in the past that seemed mature and responsible, but they no longer come around anymore. When you go out with other couples, you feel embarrassed about his behaviour or lack of accomplishments.
6 Mature Ways to Deal with your ‘Man-Child’
- Be Independent. When you do your own thing, you provide an excellent model for how he can get his own stuff done. Staying in your adult and role modelling
- Do not Be His Mom and begin nagging and speaking to him like you’re his parent. You will be enabling him to stay in the man child if you behave this way.
- Stop Making Excuses for him. This is not your burden or your opportunity to rescue him. Clear assertive communication is needed.
- Modify His Behaviour In Small Steps. … Giving your partner space and room to make mistakes. Encouraging and making him aware is more helpful than attacking and belittling and it ends up in a shouting match.
- Be Real About Why You’re with This Guy. Being honest with yourself and if you’re in the early stages of this relationship take your time before you fully commit to it.
Let go the need to control. It’s totally up to your partner to make the decision to grow up and your decision to let go and to stop perhaps trying to control.
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Tune into to my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This fortnight’s podcast is available now and discusses this topic in more depth. Are you living with a man child – https://www.powerofchange.com.au/empowered-marriage-podcast/