The following articles provide information about counselling and have been written by Helen from her Redlands base. Helen has been helping clients offering counselling services throughout Redland City for many years. Helen is now located at Mandala House in Cleveland. It’s a great location, near Raby Bay and a short walk from the Cleveland RSL and the local shopping strip.
I work with a lot of individuals who have lost their identity. It’s very painful and you will be suffering greatly if you are feeling this. I did, and I know firsthand what it feels like and what is needed to come back from this. What is losing your identity, what does that mean? You cannot make decisions for yourself Loss of confidence and self-esteem A shell of your old life and who you were Given up your social life and your own interests You compromise your wants and needs for your partner Your feeling unhappy, negative, sad, angry or frustrated. You … Read More
If you're thinking about ending your marriage, you're likely to be facing one of the most difficult decisions of your adult life. Many people struggle for a very long time before making a firm choice about whether to stay or go. Today I am going to cover : The eight red flags that could be occurring in your marriage Primary reasons people stay Questions to ask yourself What to do before making any major decisions The eight red flags that could be occurring in your marriage You are not communicating anymore outside what is necessary and even that content is negative. Most … Read More
Marriage is one of the few things that can get more challenging over time. If you're with someone long term, you can begin to take your marriage and your partner for granted and it can become boring. Are you feeling like you're trapped, you're stuck, you're in a rat and your marriage has gone stale? Are you beginning to fantasize about being with other people or another partner? Are you beginning to look outside of yourself and compare your relationship with other relationships? Are you constantly wondering what you're missing out on? Are you asking yourself if this is as good as … Read More
Most of us have relied on people and programs to motivate us and give us courage at some time in our lives. But the bottom line is that in the end, we each must motivate ourselves; there is no easy way around it. Victorious is about developing your own strength so that you can be successful, triumphant and the best version of yourself. It means becoming the number one person in your life, building up your self-esteem and recognising how awesome and brilliant you are which ripples thru into your marriage. Looking outside of yourself for your partner to do this … Read More
Do you keep all your feelings inside until you reach a point where you explode? Does the slightest thing tip you into behaving like a “crazy person”? Is your reaction to a situation over the top for what’s presenting? Some people repress their emotions to cope. It is simpler to keep the emotions buried, rather than let them surface and be forced to experience them. It seems easier to live in your head and hide from the feelings. However, emotions build-up, which is unhealthy in the long-term. These emotions stay in your body on a cellular level until you bring that emotion … Read More
Sometimes we can get caught up with the busyness of life and before you know it the two of you are friends, not intimate partners. The longer you leave it the harder it is to come back from this. It’s not going to get easier so it’s about facing it head-on and looking at what you can do to “bring your sexy back in your marriage.” 10 Ways to Bring your sexy back Get nostalgic: Remember when you first got together and share memories of those early days. Recapture some of that “spark” by recreating fond moments, visit an old haunt, get … Read More
Shirley Glass and John Gottman have done some great research on infidelity and their conclusions are positive. It comes down to what you do after the infidelity has been revealed or discovered. Couples, they must go through a process of healing, Gottman calls the overall process atonement, attune and attach. Atonement: Healing after an affair cannot occur without the offending partner’s continual expression of remorse. I sit in my counselling practice and sometimes I can see which couple is going to be able to move through this. Why? because the offending person is feeling remorse and really feeling it through every cell … Read More
On average I would get one couple a week who’ve experienced infidelity. People experience an array of emotions from sadness to anger, shock, disbelief. If your partner cheats, it's hard to understand why they would do that. What you do and what you decide to do afterwards is so important and so, therefore, I've created the 11 tips from the shock of infidelity. 1. Take a very, very big deep breath because you will be in shock. Scream, yell and cry. I think far too often people just don't give themselves the time and space to simply be. And what I mean by be, … Read More
Who doesn't want a heart centred marriage? When I’m writing about spirituality it's the connection with yourself and the universe and the search for the meaning of life. It’s not about religion, which is man-made but rather spiritual. God given spirituality. So, it's whatever you want to call it. In this context, spirituality or God or the universe. It's the creator, it's grace. It's an energy that's responsible for the planet and all the things in it and it is something so much bigger than us. I've been working in my private practice for 11 years and spirituality is different for every … Read More
When you're feeling hurt about something in your marriage it can build up over time. It's lots of little resentments that have built up and built up and you feel that you've been wronged in some way. You’re not being heard, validated, perhaps you feel invisible and not important. They begin to multiply if they haven't been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build. Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions. Getting to a place where you can learn to stop feeling the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway … Read More
