The following articles provide information about counselling and have been written by Helen from her Redlands base. Helen has been helping clients offering counselling services throughout Redland City for many years. Helen is now located at Mandala House in Cleveland. It’s a great location, near Raby Bay and a short walk from the Cleveland RSL and the local shopping strip.
What’s your pattern and when to walk away. I have found a lot of people will do anything to make their relationship work and that is why they almost never regret it when it’s time to walk away. Yes, it is painful and there will be grief, but they do it anyway. Toxic is when you cannot let go but your partner cannot treat you right. What does toxic look like? Toxic is critical, dominating, passive, hopeless, powerless, disempowered, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-worth, resentful, angry, oppressed, ashamed, misunderstood weak, unmotivated, exhaustion/fatigue and much more ………. Going back to somebody that … Read More
Are you a compatible couple? Did I choose the wrong person? Are we a compatible couple? Are we just incompatible? Tough questions that many couples ask themselves after the honeymoon phase or the blissful part of the relationship has gone. Compatibility is key to a life-long partnership. “Compatibility is more important than love ? believe it or not ? and goes hand in hand with respect and communication at the top.” Asking yourselves if your wanting similar things in a relationship is vital. Four primary types of compatibility Here are 4 primary types of compatibility, and all of them are necessary for … Read More
When I’m in session with clients I ask them what they are looking for and most say, peace, calmness, and their authentic self. Some understand that you will not find what you are looking for out there. The relationship, the house, car, the career, and the holiday. That it’s an inner job and it's about finding it within yourself. I find what happens is our thoughts get in the way and the truth is we are not our thoughts. When you notice your thoughts, stop and recognise that something inside of you noticed your thoughts. Ask who noticed them? If you were … Read More
Libido in a long-term relationship - Introducing Naomi Hutchings, a clinical sexologist currently working in Brisbane, Queensland. Naomi has worked in this interesting field of human sexuality for over 14 years. This is a short snippet of a terrific interview on my podcast Empowered Marriage. What is a sexologist? A sexologist is someone who has extensively studied, at a university level, the field of human sexuality in all aspects. There are presently three fields of professional practice in sexology: research, sexual education, and clinical practice. Libido in a long-term relationship is often talked about so this interview I ask Naomi several questions … Read More
Clutter Hurts Marriage with Guests from Little Home Organised Podcast - Introducing sisters Bonnie Black and Lilly Goleby. The Little Home Organised Podcast is dedicated to helping people declutter and get organised to reclaim time for the things they love. An absolute pleasure to interview these lovely ladies, here is a little part of what we talked about. Clutter hurts We really find with the clients that we work with, that if there's a lot going on in their minds relationship problems problems at work health problems This all manifests in their physical space around them creating clutter. A cluttered desk is … Read More
Separation with lawyer Peter Hooper. Peter Hooper is the legal practitioner Director of Brisbane Family Law Specialists Pty Ltd trading as Hooper Family Lawyers. Peter has been a Queensland Law Society Family Law Accredited Specialist since 2007. He’s been in the Redlands for about 10 years now. I felt it was important to have a lawyer on the show to educate and inform the listeners about separation. Peter explained that... Separation under the law requires three things. That there's an intent to separate by one party. A communication of that intent to the other party. And then acting upon it. If somebody decides the … Read More
Family Addiction with experts Georgia and Kym. Introducing the Addictive World with Georgia Phillips and Kym Haynes Two Dynamic therapists with a wealth of knowledge between them and have been working with families with trauma, addiction, DV (domestic violence) and sexual abuse. A brilliant podcast was recorded, and this blog is a small sample of what was discussed. What is addiction and how it affects marriage? Addiction is disconnection. “When I'm disconnected from myself, then I'm going to look outside of myself for comfort and then use something or someone if I have no other skills … that's addiction”. “So, if I'm … Read More
Move your baggage for a happier marriage. Many people live with baggage, events that have happened in their lives, and never come to peace with them. Not had closure, healing, and acceptance. You have not processed the emotional component of events that have occurred in your life, particularly when you were younger. This is life with not much baggage and a person who is thriving in their marriage. Your breathing is normal, and muscles are soft. You are present in the now You can and do enjoy pleasure and joy You can cope and enjoy change You are grounded and centred You … Read More
Can a marriage last with no communication? As you can imagine it is difficult for a marriage to go long term without communication and effective assertive communication. In time you will feel lonely, distant, and disconnected. Perhaps this is happening for you: Lost Intimacy Personal cost: Feeling isolation, sadness, low self-esteem and confidence, rejection, low self-worth, resentment, worry, anxiety to name a few. Anger Issues The personal cost to the individual on the receiving end: Tense, hurt, miserable, resentful, torn, weary, lonely, uneasy, restless, insecure, and more. The personal cost to the individual with the anger: unhappy, ashamed, confused, guilty, hostile, regretful, … Read More
Here are some reasons you may avoid confrontation: Your family of origin did not do confrontation Fear of disapproval and rejection You are a martyr; you sacrifice yourself for others. You're a pleaser you look for love out there by doing and pleasing others. You are a masked person; you adjust yourself depending on who you are talking to. Learn to say ‘no’, step by step. You will love yourself more when you set boundaries and allow yourself to say ‘no’. Start with small things and practice how to do it. Say ‘no’ to anything that hurts you physically, emotionally, mentally, or … Read More
