The following articles provide information about counselling and have been written by Helen from her Redlands base. Helen has been helping clients offering counselling services throughout Redland City for many years. Helen is now located at Mandala House in Cleveland. It’s a great location, near Raby Bay and a short walk from the Cleveland RSL and the local shopping strip.
Get rid of that resentment once and for all Do you have lots of little resentments that have built up and built up and you feel that you've been wronged in some way. You’re not being heard, validated, perhaps you feel invisible and not important. They begin to multiply and if they haven't been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build. Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions. Getting to a place where you can learn to let go of the feelings and the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway to … Read More
How to feel sexy and deserving of love You have lost interest in sex with your partner, you're just not feeling it. This is so common particularly for women with children. I have many couples coming in weekly where the woman has lost interest in sex and her libido is nonexistent. The man is tired of being rejected. Digging a little deeper women, it’s the body confidence that has disappeared since the children have sucked you dry, pardon the pun. Let's get your sexy happening so you feel deserving of love to give yourself and receive from your partner. The first place … Read More
Keeping your relationship turned ON Are you friends, not intimate partners? Perhaps best friends but here is no physical or sexual connection? The longer you leave it, the harder it is to recover from. It’s not going to get easier by putting your troubles on the backburner. It’s about facing them head-on and looking at what you can do to bring back the desire and passion you once had in your relationship. It's about keeping your relationship turned on. Identify your needs: Identifying what makes you feel like having sex is important. Men can be easily aroused where women’s desire is more … Read More
Take time out to stop a Toxic Marriage It is important that you can recognise when time out is needed in your relationship. Your breathing has gotten faster, your voice is louder, and your tone has changed. You may have started to feel frustrated and angry. Rather than speaking assertively, you tend to change to aggression and criticism. Rather than listening to understand, you can ignore, belittle and argue back. The fight and flight response has been triggered. This is when a time-out is especially needed, as hurtful things can easily be said and done in these moments. For many people, they … Read More
Are you hiding and what's your mask? Sometimes as a way of attempting to feel loved, we please others. Often, we have learned, and we have adopted various behavioural strategies designed to get approval and love for what you need. It can begin in childhood, continuing into adulthood. These strategies become like roles that you play or masks or personality types that you act out, whether conscious or unconscious. I'm going to list and talk about the different character types or masks that you may be acting out in your marriage. Having these different character types playing out in your marriage is … Read More
My Marriage isn’t working. Here are the most common problems I see in my counselling sessions. The longer you leave these issues unexplored the harder it is to find a resolution. Sexual issues Different views about money Lack of common goals Feeling misunderstood by partner Difficulty in openly expressing feelings and thoughts. Difficulty in expressing love and affection. Different interests Different parenting views Power struggles Begin with reflecting on why your marriage is not working: Be honest and speak truthfully as to why the marriage isn’t working. Use I statements, have turns in sharing, talking, and listening, regularly. Talk to each other, … Read More
The 4 Warning Signs - Warning signs your marriage and relationship are in trouble can be slow and gradual and one day you realise you are not happy. When you get married you anticipate that you get married for life and no mention of divorce. If you ignore the warning signs and hope that communication in your relationship will magically improve you are dreaming. Is your relationship a priority is the question to ask yourself. Do you make time for each other? Do you listen to understand? There is a distinct slow change in relationships so it’s important to address this as soon … Read More
You want more Passion, Desire and Fun Do you want more passion, desire and fun? Are you feeling bored and stuck, perhaps you're in a rat and your marriage has gone stale? This is quite common, and you are perhaps beginning to look outside of yourself and comparing your relationship with other relationships? Are you asking yourself if this is as good as it gets? Are you unmotivated, exhausted, and lazy in your marriage? The reality is if you're bored, you need to do something about it. Focusing on what you want more than what you don’t want will be helpful and … Read More
My partner drinks too much This is a hot topic. You’re struggling and for a number of years, you have watched your partner drink more and more. They change when they drink, perhaps happier, more talkative, and then the flip side of it is they become like a teenager and the adult self has left and you are left with someone who is: Critical and negative Aggressive Angry Shutdown and distant Agitated and so much more. You feel like you have a third person (being the drink) in your relationship, and you are very tired of the behaviour and what comes with … Read More
I get angry easily So you’re in a marriage/relationship and your feeling hurt and you get angry easily. For example, 0 to 10 very quickly. You may feel some of this: Not heard Not validated Feel invisible Not important These feelings can begin to multiply if they haven't been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build. Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions. Getting to a place where you can learn to stop feeling the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway to an empowered marriage. Acceptance I believe acceptance … Read More
