The following articles provide information about counselling and have been written by Helen from her Redlands base. Helen has been helping clients offering counselling services throughout Redland City for many years. Helen is now located at Mandala House in Cleveland. It’s a great location, near Raby Bay and a short walk from the Cleveland RSL and the local shopping strip.
Adrenaline addiction can creep up on you and you may not even realize you suffer from this. A sure sign the push, push way of living. The hyper-arousal, the hyper-vigilant way of living. Living is survival for you. Then it's time to go from Adrenaline addiction to authentic living. Deciding you want to change this and live in a calmer way; a thriving way is a personal decision and often brought on because it’s affecting the quality of your marriage. Signs that you are overcoming adrenaline addiction Automatically drift off to sleep – Perhaps the easiest way to know that you’ve overcome … Read More
The Cost to you and your marriage From adrenaline addiction to authentic living. You get busier and busier with no relief in sight. You push and push yourself and create situations to get a hit of adrenaline. Extended periods of stress will in time catch up to you and roll into chronic stress which will in time affect your health. You cannot live this way forever and something must give…. Are you constantly late so then you must rush? Constantly checking emails, social media and booking a tight schedule? Do you leave things to the last minute, e.g. A project or preparation … Read More
When do you say I do? Marriage can be one of the biggest decisions of your life and should not be rushed. Sometimes I sit with couples and wonder why they got married in the first place. They committed to someone who was displaying behaviour that worried them, upset them however they got married anyway. Commitment is a mindset. Your behaviour should reflect this mindset. I believe it’s crucial for couples to have premarital counselling so it can help couples make an informed decision about their commitment to one another and commitment comes before anything else. How do you know if you’re … Read More
How could your life have changed so radically? It wasn’t that long ago you were enjoying dreams of happily ever after. And somehow now, after such a beautiful time to together, you’re wondering about simply surviving an unhappy marriage. When you are surviving there is no pleasure or joy so and not a lot of physical intimacy. Somewhere between then and now you’ve lost the shared dreams along with the ones that were just yours. The love that once kept both of you bathed in feel-good hormones that made everything OK and helped you work together to find solutions to every challenge … Read More
How to overcome being needy is a common theme in my counselling sessions. Why are we needy and what does it look like? You may be always running to your partner for help? Perhaps you are constantly texting, messaging even if they are at work? Needing affection and attention from your partner? Need to be with your partner, what are they doing? If a text or call doesn’t come in, you worry and you think something is wrong. When you are needy it’s very unattractive and your partner will begin to pull away and in turn, can ruin your relationship/marriage. When your … Read More
The transition to an empty nest and it can cause damage to a marriage and a relationship. It's important to prepare for when your children leave home. Ideally, to prepare and cope with an empty nest, it's best to start preparing years before they leave. Purpose and your role: Raising your children is not your purpose it is your role. I felt that my purpose in life was to be a mother and raise my children. Over the years I have changed that belief. I now understand that raising my children is my role and it's for me to find what my … Read More
What do you think the top four most argued issues ever are? Yes, you guessed it: Sex Money Chores Children Partners will always have disagreements, however, it’s how you overcome conflict and this is dependent on your communication skills. Sex is such a common problem in marriage, not enough of it or not having it at all and many more reasons why sex can create conflict. Too tired, not in the mood and just mismatched libidos. Its critical couples address this asap to minimise issues in the future. Picking a time that is right where you are both relaxed, not distracted to … Read More
Finding your purpose can improve your marriage. When you have a clear picture of your sense of purpose you are going to be more content and a happier partner. This can take your marriage to a new level because you are more enjoyable to be around and everyday issues you are going to deal with a lot better. You are better able to handle stress and with thus your self-worth increases. Knowing your unique role and listening to the beat of your own drum is the key. When you’re not living on purpose you can feel out of balance. Sometimes a feeling … Read More
I work with a lot of individuals who have lost their identity. It’s very painful and you will be suffering greatly if you are feeling this. I did, and I know firsthand what it feels like and what is needed to come back from this. What is losing your identity, what does that mean? You cannot make decisions for yourself Loss of confidence and self-esteem A shell of your old life and who you were Given up your social life and your own interests You compromise your wants and needs for your partner Your feeling unhappy, negative, sad, angry or frustrated. You … Read More
If you're thinking about ending your marriage, you're likely to be facing one of the most difficult decisions of your adult life. Many people struggle for a very long time before making a firm choice about whether to stay or go. Today I am going to cover : The eight red flags that could be occurring in your marriage Primary reasons people stay Questions to ask yourself What to do before making any major decisions The eight red flags that could be occurring in your marriage You are not communicating anymore outside what is necessary and even that content is negative. Most … Read More
