The following articles provide information about counselling and have been written by Helen from her Redlands base. Helen has been helping clients offering counselling services throughout Redland City for many years. Helen is now located at Mandala House in Cleveland. It’s a great location, near Raby Bay and a short walk from the Cleveland RSL and the local shopping strip.
I get angry easily So you’re in a marriage/relationship and your feeling hurt and you get angry easily. For example, 0 to 10 very quickly. You may feel some of this: Not heard Not validated Feel invisible Not important These feelings can begin to multiply if they haven't been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build. Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions. Getting to a place where you can learn to stop feeling the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway to an empowered marriage. Acceptance I believe acceptance … Read More
You're no longer attracted to your partner Realising you’re no longer attracted to your partner can be scary, worrying and all too consuming. You start getting stuck in your head, overthinking and catastrophising. Stay in it too long and you get into an emergency response and the fight and flight response takes over. Before you know it, you’ve moved out, in a rental and have started a new life. For starters let’s slow down, right down. For some of you, the lack of attraction can be a phase and for others, it may mean the heart has left. The key is addressing … Read More
I just want you to love me “You please me, and our relationship is good.” “Please me and we are good, and I will stick around.” This is called a conditional relationship and a large part of relationships and marriages are this. Conditional relationships are held together with individuals not taking responsibility for their own happiness and connection with themselves. Staying in alignment with yourself is the key. Staying true to your inner voice and not looking out there to get what you need. That is nothing to do with you out there. Your relationship with your inner being is the most … Read More
Has your partner outgrown you? So your partner seems different? In every area of his or her life. Your partner has discovered how intuitive they really are. A whole new dimension of life has opened, enhancing job, relationships, self-esteem, creativity, and health. Their ability to create visions for the future that is strong and robust, and you feel like you’re being left behind. If you criticise and judge and you want to be in a long-term happy marriage, then this is for you. Intuition increases our empathy and compassion for ourselves and our partner. Growing is crucial and we can all reach … Read More
3 Steps to rebuild trust. Healing after betrayal or infidelity is painful and hard work. This requires vulnerability and this cannot occur without the offending partner’s continual expression of remorse. Reflecting on the experience is especially important to re-establish confidence in the relationship. Both partners must also take some time to gauge their emotional space Unearth a lesson from the experience. Spend time reflecting on what it is that caused you or your partner pain Reflect on the actions taken that broke the trust, to begin with. What did it make you feel? How are you feeling now as a result of … Read More
How to avoid divorcing again. So you are married for a second time or are about too. This could be the most important information you have read in a while. The divorce rate is high so here are some practical ways and education to empower yourself to do your own inner work. 1. Own and let go of baggage: In a new relationship, it’s initially all wonderful. You're in that bubble of love and you could be in it for six months, 18 months, two years and your partner can do no wrong. But then sometimes it can happen quite suddenly and … Read More
The 9 Most Common Marriage Problems 1. Deficient communication Communication is a verbal and nonverbal exchange of information that requires a response. Because it takes more than one person to communicate, it’s focused on a connection between people where it’s safe to openly share ideas and information free of judgment. When partners are unable to communicate clearly, it’s easy for them to fall into a habitual way of ineffectively speaking to one another. What’s worse is that if poor communication skills are not dealt with, it’s possible for more serious problems to arise. Fix it: Couples should learn how to communicate with … Read More
You want more passion in your marriage. Being grounded and centred enables you to live life in a way that flows with everything. Being uncentered causes you to struggle and fight against life, it’s a struggle. Being ungrounded makes you experience your emotions in a stronger and more negative way when you could be experiencing a much calmer way. Grounding is crucial for more passion in your marriage. How do you ground yourself to become more centred and calmer? First, recognise that you need to do this. Try an exercise that connects you energetically to the earth. It allows you to be more authentically in your body, in the present … Read More
What’s your pattern and when to walk away. I have found a lot of people will do anything to make their relationship work and that is why they almost never regret it when it’s time to walk away. Yes, it is painful and there will be grief, but they do it anyway. Toxic is when you cannot let go but your partner cannot treat you right. What does toxic look like? Toxic is critical, dominating, passive, hopeless, powerless, disempowered, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-worth, resentful, angry, oppressed, ashamed, misunderstood weak, unmotivated, exhaustion/fatigue and much more ………. Going back to somebody that … Read More
Are you a compatible couple? Did I choose the wrong person? Are we a compatible couple? Are we just incompatible? Tough questions that many couples ask themselves after the honeymoon phase or the blissful part of the relationship has gone. Compatibility is key to a life-long partnership. “Compatibility is more important than love ? believe it or not ? and goes hand in hand with respect and communication at the top.” Asking yourselves if your wanting similar things in a relationship is vital. Four primary types of compatibility Here are 4 primary types of compatibility, and all of them are necessary for … Read More
