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Couples

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Couples counselling creates a safe environment for couples to talk through issues within the relationship.

Couples counselling is not a test but a place where couples can become clear about what is happening between them.

Helen has helped hundreds of couples, throughout the Redlands to work through difficult times. Helen’s private office in Cleveland is a haven for couples undergoing counselling, helping couples to enjoy a happy partnership or end a difficult relationship.

The following blog posts provide information to help couples. If you would some more personalised strategies, contact Helen Harrison on 0439 889 969.

Letting go of resentment in your marriage

By |2019-05-28T09:42:42+10:00June 2nd, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

When you're feeling hurt about something in your marriage it can build up over time. It's lots of little resentments that have built up and built up and you feel that you've been wronged in some way. You’re not being heard, validated, perhaps you feel invisible and not important. They begin to multiply if they haven't been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build. Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions. Getting to a place where you can learn to stop feeling the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway … Read More

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Do you have an elephant in the living room and self-esteem in your marriage?

By |2019-05-14T11:12:04+10:00May 25th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

Self-esteem is crucial to having an empowered marriage.  If you're traveling through life and we all are, each one of us we experience, thoughts and feelings and moments and memories. They all go towards building our personality, our perceptions and our behaviours. These experiences, help make us who we are, they influence the way we see ourselves in the world. If we have positive experiences, they help us feel accepted and happy within ourselves.  If we have negative experiences, they eat away at our confidence and self-worth, particularly the period between zero and seven. That time we are like little sponges and … Read More

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Secrets to a long-lasting empowered marriage

By |2019-05-14T10:56:09+10:00May 19th, 2019|Couples, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

Here they are, the 5 secrets to a long-lasting empowered marriage: Have your own identity Be a team A balance between positive and negative Being equal Letting go of the expectations   Have your own identity:  be your own person. A lot of couples when they're working with me, we go back and look at the history: when they met and how they met. And for some people it's not always the case, but for some couples, those people who have just come straight out of home and got into a relationship struggle with this. Separating from the childhood home, the childhood … Read More

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Needy, Naggy and Controlling are very unattractive in marriage

By |2019-05-14T10:25:28+10:00May 12th, 2019|Couples, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

This is very common, and I work a lot with this in my Counselling practice.  If this speaks to you then it’s about being honest with yourself if you have any of these behaviours. Needy:  Let’s look at needy and first place to start is to ask yourself, why am I needy? Where has it come from? It’s usually from the wounded part of you, the wounded child in you. You have many parts that make up you and your life. Your partner is part of that, but not all of it. So, respecting your partner's need for space is crucial. You … Read More

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Feeling emotional intimacy in your marriage

By |2019-04-05T11:01:34+10:00April 5th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, Marriage Counselling|

Are you wanting more emotional intimacy in your marriage? Perhaps you are at a point where actually there's no intimacy whatsoever, you're more like flatmates, no deep emotional connection. You might be sleeping in different bedrooms, you might be sleeping in different houses. You may be in a marriage where it has been good for a long time. However, perhaps you've been under a lot of stress, a lot of pressure the last six months. There's so many different variables and you're not feeling as connected to your partner and it is on your mind. It's worrying you because once, intimacy goes … Read More

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The 4 most damaging behaviors in relationships

By |2018-12-18T11:43:53+10:00December 18th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Self Esteem|

Criticism Defensiveness Contempt Stonewalling Criticism over time in a relationship will wear it down and erode it's self esteem. This behaviour doesn’t make for a happy relationship.   Criticism is when you globally wrong your partner.  For example, “you always ignore me in the afternoons” or “you never care about me.”  It’s an attack which says there is something globally wrong with your partner.  This is not supportive in a relationship and if it occurs regularly over time it is corrosive. Now there are times when feedback is necessary which is not criticizing but complaining.  Complaining is feedback and is not corrosive.  For … Read More

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“Expectation is the root of all misery”

By |2018-10-25T12:09:26+10:00October 25th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling|

“If she just started doing ……………. then all would be good”! “I should be further along than this” “Why doesn’t he listen, really listen?” Hearing a theme here? All expectations of yourself or of your partner creates disappointment, heart break and in time erodes relationships.  Having realistic expectations helps you accept the flaws of others and creates less pain in you.  We need to take responsibility for our own life’s before we can expect others to do the same. We all have expectations in our lives of what we want and who we want to become.  That is great on some level, … Read More

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Why did I have an affair?

By |2018-10-23T16:10:53+10:00October 23rd, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling|

It’s so very common I’m sorry to say and by the time couples are seeing me the cat is out of the bag and the relationship is in crises. It’s extremely sad to experience the pain individuals go thru. It’s never going to stop, there will always be people who have affairs. Why you ask? Little Emotional Connection: The common reason I see is the lack of emotional connection. When you marry and start your life together your deeply in love and focused on each other. Your partner is a priority and then other areas of your life start to take your … Read More

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Do I stay or Go?

By |2018-08-23T16:35:24+10:00August 23rd, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General|

So your marriage is in trouble and your not sure how much longer you can live with the unhappiness and disconnection your feeling. Most of what keeps us stuck are the fearful thoughts running through our minds. To attempt to make sense of what is likely 60,000+ thoughts each day, we begin talking to others...and all that talking ismany times, the very thing that keeps us stuck. stuck in the pain... stuck in the stories... How do you move forward and gain clarity and direction? Firstly pick very carefully who you talk to too discuss your marriage. 1. People who will not … Read More

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Personal Trainer for Couples

By |2018-07-18T11:48:43+10:00July 18th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General|

What if the thinking around couples counselling could change?  Seeking Couples Counselling like your weekly PT workout.  I bet you don’t keep that a secret that you go to your PT? Happy couple smiling at camera at the beach There is such a shame, secrecy around seeing a couple’s therapist.  I’m so hoping in time that this will change.  We seek support for our physical and tell everyone as we are proud of it.  What about the emotional and mental.? For many people there is a fear in having couples counselling.  To visit a counsellor for some people is saying … Read More

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The Power of Change is within you