Self Esteem

/Self Esteem

Do you feel unlovable or unworthy?

Self-worth is the crucial foundation that is needed for any improvement in self-esteem. Self-worth is what you think of yourself; the picture you have of yourself. You may be carrying a distorted picture of yourself within your mind.

Counselling and/or life coaching is an excellent strategy to improve self esteem. Learning techniques to prevent negative self-talk will have lasting and positive effects.

Please enjoy the following articles which discuss aspects of Self Esteem. If you would like to work with Helen, make an appointment by calling 0439 889 969.

Letting go of resentment in your marriage

By |2019-05-28T09:42:42+10:00June 2nd, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

When you're feeling hurt about something in your marriage it can build up over time. It's lots of little resentments that have built up and built up and you feel that you've been wronged in some way. You’re not being heard, validated, perhaps you feel invisible and not important. They begin to multiply if they haven't been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build. Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions. Getting to a place where you can learn to stop feeling the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway … Read More

Do you have an elephant in the living room and self-esteem in your marriage?

By |2019-05-14T11:12:04+10:00May 25th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

Self-esteem is crucial to having an empowered marriage.  If you're traveling through life and we all are, each one of us we experience, thoughts and feelings and moments and memories. They all go towards building our personality, our perceptions and our behaviours. These experiences, help make us who we are, they influence the way we see ourselves in the world. If we have positive experiences, they help us feel accepted and happy within ourselves.  If we have negative experiences, they eat away at our confidence and self-worth, particularly the period between zero and seven. That time we are like little sponges and … Read More

Secrets to a long-lasting empowered marriage

By |2019-05-14T10:56:09+10:00May 19th, 2019|Couples, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

Here they are, the 5 secrets to a long-lasting empowered marriage: Have your own identity Be a team A balance between positive and negative Being equal Letting go of the expectations   Have your own identity:  be your own person. A lot of couples when they're working with me, we go back and look at the history: when they met and how they met. And for some people it's not always the case, but for some couples, those people who have just come straight out of home and got into a relationship struggle with this. Separating from the childhood home, the childhood … Read More

Needy, Naggy and Controlling are very unattractive in marriage

By |2019-05-14T10:25:28+10:00May 12th, 2019|Couples, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

This is very common, and I work a lot with this in my Counselling practice.  If this speaks to you then it’s about being honest with yourself if you have any of these behaviours. Needy:  Let’s look at needy and first place to start is to ask yourself, why am I needy? Where has it come from? It’s usually from the wounded part of you, the wounded child in you. You have many parts that make up you and your life. Your partner is part of that, but not all of it. So, respecting your partner's need for space is crucial. You … Read More

Unmask the Resentment in your Relationship

By |2019-02-07T10:38:02+10:00February 7th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Marriage Counselling, Self Esteem|

Having been in business for 11 years I would have to say resentment is so common and the most damaging behaviour to have in a relationship.  Resentment is an emotion that begins small and then builds and festers within you.  It’s often an accumulation of months and sometimes years of unexpressed negative emotions. Sometimes it manifests itself as boredom. Other times it manifests itself as a mild persistent annoyance. And other times it appears as a snarky comment, withdrawal of affection, or a judgmental comment. Resentment is an emotion that builds and festers in the background. It usually isn’t a feeling that just … Read More

The 4 most damaging behaviors in relationships

By |2018-12-18T11:43:53+10:00December 18th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Self Esteem|

Criticism Defensiveness Contempt Stonewalling Criticism over time in a relationship will wear it down and erode it's self esteem. This behaviour doesn’t make for a happy relationship.   Criticism is when you globally wrong your partner.  For example, “you always ignore me in the afternoons” or “you never care about me.”  It’s an attack which says there is something globally wrong with your partner.  This is not supportive in a relationship and if it occurs regularly over time it is corrosive. Now there are times when feedback is necessary which is not criticizing but complaining.  Complaining is feedback and is not corrosive.  For … Read More

Are you addicted to adrenaline? From Executives to Housewife’s

By |2018-08-17T17:41:28+10:00August 17th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Self Esteem|

You may instantly reply with NO. I don’t jump out of planes or need to climb mountains and ride fast motorbikes. You may be addicted to adrenaline without even realizing it. A few examples: • Are you constantly late so then you must rush? • Constantly checking emails, social media and booking a tight schedule? • You leave things to the last minute e.g. A project or preparation for work • You set unrealistic timelines and must push yourself to complete.? • Cleaning your house, doing your garden you over exert yourself and do too much in a short amount of time? … Read More

Identifying your critical tapes that create stress

By |2018-06-14T12:40:08+10:00June 14th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Self Esteem|

How willing are you to acknowledge unhelpful attitudes and beliefs that you may have? Some of these may be unexamined ways of thinking about yourself and your life that were given to you by parents and other early caregivers. They may not really be your attitudes and values, but they were put there so early on, it is hard to tell that they do not belong with you. You can recognise them because they are often distorted, exaggerated, self-critical, or self-defeating “tapes” that re-play over and over again in your head, causing personal anxiety, self-doubt, stress and depression. Some examples are: Rigidity … Read More

Acceptance is a choice, not a feeling.

By |2018-05-02T11:51:24+10:00April 27th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Self Esteem|

Acceptance is a journey that starts with a conscious decision. When we are suffering we have pain.  There is a gap between our reality and what we want.  When acceptance is lived it softens the pain.  A death, divorce, loss of a job, any change that has occurred that we are struggling with.  We may not like it or want it but its out of our control.  What is in our control is how we accept it. There are tools that can help us progress, but the process is unique for each one of us. You may need to try some different … Read More

Create “Your Best Life”

By |2018-03-20T14:24:45+10:00March 20th, 2018|Counselling in the Redlands, General, Life Coaching, Self Esteem|

To create your ultimate life takes commitment, time and daily practice.  Intuition is crucial as you will trust your inner voice and what is right for you. Start each day with the intention of being intuitive, of listening to your inner voice. A great way to do this is by using affirmations, which are positive statements that we repeat over and over again. Affirmations can be used in any area of your life. They reinforce to your mind the outcome that you are looking to achieve. For example, choose an affirmation such as ‘I love and approve of myself’ or one relating … Read More