My Marriage isn't working photo

My Marriage isn’t working.

Here are the most common problems I see in my counselling sessions.  The longer you leave these issues unexplored the harder it is to find a resolution.

  • Sexual issues
  • Different views about money
  • Lack of common goals
  • Feeling misunderstood by partner
  • Difficulty in openly expressing feelings and thoughts.
  • Difficulty in expressing love and affection.
  • Different interests
  • Different parenting views
  • Power struggles

Begin with reflecting on why your marriage is not working:

Be honest and speak truthfully as to why the marriage isn’t working. Use I statements, have turns in sharing, talking, and listening, regularly.

Talk to each other, stop avoiding each other:

Turn off the phone, look at each other and start talking, listening, and sharing.

  • I see you
  • I hear you
  • I understand your perspective
  • You talk, I’ll just listen
  • Tell me how that feels

When you feel like you’re being heard it can make such a difference to how you feel about your partner.

Put a timer on your phone, have turns.  Just listen.  Begin with 5 minutes.

Being committed to yourself and the marriage and changes that you can do to start improving the quality of your relationship is the key.

Find a way to connect again

What does that mean to you? Walking, a fortnightly date.  Being creative, getting out of habit and planning something different and fun.

Will, Want and Work

Will: Bring the dreams back, desires, the goals, the fun, the desire

Want: the commitment you made to yourself and each other

Work: it takes work.  The idea is to fall in love again and have the empowered marriage that you both deserve.

Getting clear on what you want and working towards it is the key.  Here are some examples.

  • Physical attraction
  • Similar values
  • Enjoying similar interests
  • Like mindedness
  • Voice, tone the way your partner spoke to you
  • Zest and passion for life
  • Passion and chemistry
  • Emotional connection

Tune in to my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This fortnight’s podcast is available now and discusses this topic in more depth.

My Marriage isn’t working –

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