Blog

/Blog/

Bring your sexy back in your marriage

By |2019-08-19T13:40:53+10:00September 2nd, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling|

Sometimes we can get caught up with the busyness of life and before you know it the two of you are friends, not intimate partners.  The longer you leave it the harder it is to come back from this.  It’s not going to get easier so it’s about facing it head-on and looking at what you can do to “bring your sexy back in your marriage.” 10 Ways to Bring your sexy back Get nostalgic: Remember when you first got together and share memories of those early days. Recapture some of that “spark” by recreating fond moments, visit an old haunt, get … Read More

Couples can overcome infidelity

By |2019-08-19T16:44:45+10:00August 26th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling|

Shirley Glass and John Gottman have done some great research on infidelity and their conclusions are positive.  It comes down to what you do after the infidelity has been revealed or discovered. Couples, they must go through a process of healing, Gottman calls the overall process atonement, attune and attach. Atonement: Healing after an affair cannot occur without the offending partner’s continual expression of remorse. I sit in my counselling practice and sometimes I can see which couple is going to be able to move through this. Why? because the offending person is feeling remorse and really feeling it through every cell … Read More

11 tips on how to overcome the shock of infidelity

By |2019-08-19T13:35:35+10:00August 19th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, General, Marriage Counselling|

On average I would get one couple a week who’ve experienced infidelity. People experience an array of emotions from sadness to anger, shock, disbelief. If your partner cheats, it's hard to understand why they would do that. What you do and what you decide to do afterwards is so important and so, therefore, I've created the 11 tips from the shock of infidelity. 1. Take a very, very big deep breath because you will be in shock. Scream, yell and cry. I think far too often people just don't give themselves the time and space to simply be. And what I mean by be, … Read More

The four most damaging behaviours in your marriage

By |2019-08-11T18:38:51+10:00August 12th, 2019|General|

1. Criticism, which is when you attack your partner with something that you’re saying is globally wrong with him or her. For example: “You always ignore me in the afternoons.” “You never care about me.” Over time criticism wears down a relationship and erodes the self-esteem of both partners. It doesn’t make for a happy relationship and is not supportive for a healthy partnership. There are times when feedback is necessary, but it should not be conveyed in a critical way. For example: “I felt ignored and upset when you didn’t answer me this afternoon.” Feedback is best conveyed using language such … Read More

Live in your marriage with energy, vitality and a passion for life

By |2019-08-05T08:59:04+10:00August 5th, 2019|General|

We are made up of energy and the more free-flowing your energy the more vibrant, centred and whole you feel.  The more empowered you are going to feel in your marriage. Negative energy can become locked in the body and suppressed when you are unable to fully express yourself during emotional times which can create a lot of issues in your marriage. You can feel unmotivated, exhausted, no libido, lazy, sad, stressed, depressed, anxious, lost your mojo, you procrastinate, little focus, no passion, no drive. You may not have a clear memory of something, but the negative energy is there and when … Read More

Do I stay or Go, Marriage Limbo?

By |2019-06-26T17:31:19+10:00July 27th, 2019|General|

So, your marriage is in trouble and you’re not sure how much longer you can live with the unhappiness and disconnection your feeling. Most of what keeps us stuck are the fearful thoughts running through our minds. To attempt to make sense of what is likely 60,000+ thoughts each day, we begin talking to others…and all that talking is many times, the very thing that keeps us stuck. stuck in the pain… stuck in the stories… How do you move forward and gain clarity and direction? Firstly, pick very carefully who you talk to too discuss your marriage. People who will not … Read More

What to expect from a Marriage Counselling session

By |2019-06-03T21:47:09+10:00July 20th, 2019|General|

What goes on in a marriage counselling session? My goal is to normalize counselling. How I see it, is your car has a tune-up every year. However, do you do a tune-up of your marriage? No. You just keep going and going and going and I see most couples when they're in crisis. Sometimes the marriage has gone to a point where both parties aren't talking to each other or there's a huge amount of conflict. A lot of anger in the marriage and it has just shut down. There's pain, confusion, stress, overwhelm, depression, and many other symptoms. Picking carefully who … Read More

You have to love yourself to fully love your partner

By |2019-07-13T14:38:34+10:00July 13th, 2019|General|

As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are, what others say is irrelevant. Nick Schiff. I absolutely love this quote because that represent this whole blog.  We spend so much time looking out of ourselves seeking approval from others and particularly in marriage, we're looking out at our partner. We sometimes forget how to seek that in ourselves. For an empowered marriage it’s for … Read More

Sharing spirituality in your relationship for a heart centred marriage

By |2019-06-03T21:05:14+10:00July 6th, 2019|Counselling in the Redlands, Couples, Life Coaching, Marriage Counselling|

Who doesn't want a heart centred marriage?  When I’m writing about spirituality it's the connection with yourself and the universe and the search for the meaning of life. It’s not about religion, which is man-made but rather spiritual.  God given spirituality. So, it's whatever you want to call it. In this context, spirituality or God or the universe. It's the creator, it's grace.  It's an energy that's responsible for the planet and all the things in it and it is something so much bigger than us. I've been working in my private practice for 11 years and spirituality is different for every … Read More

6 tips to restoring sexual intimacy in your marriage

By |2019-06-25T09:04:44+10:00June 28th, 2019|General|

I would have at least two couples a week that I work with, where the sexual relationship has become a lot less or is non-existent.  Could be over several months or even over a couple of years. Being able to restore that is an extremely important part of being in a marriage. The sexual energy within yourself when on and open, you’re alive, you're motivated, you’re creative, you're very much more connected to yourself.  I have couples coming in where they have shut that part of themselves down which is very sad. 6 simple tips to be able to restore your sexual … Read More