Taking control of our love lives requires that we take a close look at the ways we behave in our intimate relationships. It is not smart to leave our assertive self behind at work and to allow ourselves to be severely compromised at home.
There is a direct link between your behaviour and your levels of relationship self-esteem. Of course, relationships are all about give and take, but we need to be sure that we are not the ones who are doing all the giving. Checkout your own levels of relationship self-esteem.
If you are low in relationship self-esteem, you are a victim of love, and you may be:
• Unable to make good relationship decisions.
• Addicted to the idea of love.
• Waiting for your love interest to change.
• Believing that you deserve the treatment you are getting.
• Living with low expectations of yourself and of your partner.
• Giving and not taking.
• Unhappy with yourself
If you are high in relationship self-esteem, you are a love magnet, and you will be:
• Making good relationship decisions.
• Setting positive love goals.
• Dancing to your own tune.
• Believing that you deserve a fabulous, nurturing relationship.
• Living with high expectations of yourself and of your partner.
• Giving and taking in equal measure.
• Happy with yourself.
Sometimes it can be very confronting to have a look at yourself and be honest with yourself. Sometimes we can have an unconscious belief like “I deserve to be treated badly” or “it’s not safe for me to be outstanding and amazing”. If that is the case, you will not speak up and you will allow yourself to be treated badly. It’s your responsibility to look at this and work at it and not wait for your partner to change.
Between zero to seven years old our brains are absolute spongers and we take on thoughts about ourselves that are just not true and then spend a lifetime trying to work ourselves out. You may be extremely assertive in your working world however in your love life it’s a very different story.