As a counsellor and life coach it is so common to have people and particularly women who care for others before themselves. When they come and see me they can be burnt out, resentful, irritated or even angry. Stress can be building up. Is this you? Perhaps you loose your temper easily and do you get ill easily? By the time people come and see me they know something has to change but they don’t know how.
It’s getting back to basis. Asking yourself these questions?
• Do you feel the need to please?
• Do you ever feel that if you aren’t there for someone, they may reject you?
• Do you feel validated by being needed?
• Do you seek others approval by the good things you do for them.
These are examples of self sabotaging yourself, a dysfunctional way to live.
Putting yourself first is not selfish, it’s vital for your well being and your inner peace.
A great place to start is to stop. To take time to sit quietly everyday and to start having a relationship with yourself. Busy doing and being there for everyone else will only result in you paying the price, your well being and your health.
No one can make time for you, only you. Are you important enough to do this?
Start today and make time for yourself.
Taking time to mediate, even 10 minutes a day can achieve enormous change. You will be more peaceful and gentle on yourself. It may feel uncomfortable, just start, there is never just the right time.
Sit comfortably with your back straight. Take a deep breath and let it go. Eyes are closed, breath normally. Begin to silently count at the end of each breath: Inhale…exhale…count one, inhale….exhale…two, count to 10. Then start at one again. It is so simple.
On a personal note, years ago I was a very busy doing sort of person. I was encouraged to mediate. I fought it as it meant I had to stop. It meant I had to be with myself and my feelings. It meant I had to be alone with all of me and that scared the hell out me. With guidance and support I pushed through these feelings I had and just started. Everyday now I mediate, some days longer than others. I have a relationship with myself. It’s a very special relationship as I now love myself. I put myself first so I can be a strong, contented peaceful person with my loved ones and people I come into contact with.
There is a great beauty and joy that is your birthright, and you find this when you let go of resistance and stress and reconnect with the quiet space within.