Get rid of that resentment once and for all
Do you have lots of little resentments that have built up and built up and you feel that you’ve been wronged in some way. You’re not being heard, validated, perhaps you feel invisible and not important.
They begin to multiply and if they haven’t been dealt with at the time resentment begins to build. Feelings under resentment can include anger, sadness, doubt, grief and many more emotions.
Getting to a place where you can learn to let go of the feelings and the resentment and instead feel gratitude, peacefulness and compassion is the pathway to an empowered marriage.
How do you get rid of that resentment once and for all? I believe acceptance is needed and it involves making a conscious decision to let go of resentment. You ask so how do I do that?
This simple self-empowering exercise called SELF, if you practice enough will be your go-to anytime you’re feeling some unease within yourself. Identifying within yourself, conflict, tension, blame, judgement, sadness and more. “SELF”.
Practising acceptance doesn’t lessen the wrong that’s been done against you by another person. It also does not mean that you are accepting that the wrong is okay or that you can justify what happened. It does not mean that you must forget about the hurt. What acceptance requires is for you to rise above the resentment that you feel.
What are you hanging onto? If you’re in a long-term marriage and you’ve got resentment, you could have years of resentment and it’s only getting heavier and heavier, you’re getting more toxic and negative.
If you practice this exercise enough it will be your go-to anytime you’re feeling some unease within yourself. Identifying within yourself, conflict, tension, blame, judgement and more.
SELF
- S: Stop what you’re doing, bring in stillness and breath.
- E: Enquire what your feeling inside the body
- L: Love yourself enough to give yourself what you need
- F: Fill your own cup up
Instructions: Find some space on your own where you will not be interrupted.
Stop:
Recognising what is going on inside of you right now, your inner world. Feelings, reactions, tensions for example blame, judgement and sadness.
Enquire:
Notice what your believing about yourself and the other person if someone is involved. What are you feeling? Where do you feel the feelings and tension in your body, the anger, hurt, sadness, confusion and resentment, for example.
Love:
Love yourself enough to give yourself what you need. What is the unmet need here? Support, love, cared about, to feel respected, understood, important, appreciated, courageous, strength or safety.
Fill your own cup up:
Self-responsibility 100% for mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing. List daily, weekly and monthly what you are going to do to fill your cup up.
Some examples can include surfing, bushwalking, reading poetry, listening to music or soaking in a bath.
Choosing to let go of resentment in your marriage is a choice. It sets you free to live in the present with peacefulness and calmness. Sometimes working on it yourself is not enough and counselling and /or psychotherapy can be very effective and helpful to speed the process along.
Tune in to my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This fortnight’s podcast is available now and discusses this topic in more depth.
Get rid of that resentment once and for all – https://www.powerofchange.com.au/empowered-marriage-podcast/
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