Top 5 Tips for women to be interested in sex again
I’ve discovered over the years of working with couples that women are often the first to pull away from intimacy and ultimately the sexual relationship.
The unravelling often begins when children come into the picture. A lot of changes in your intimate relationship and the pressure that this puts on you both and your sexual relationship is enormous.
Did you know that sex encourages intimacy? Orgasms release oxytocin which is a feel-good bonding hormone. Sex helps you feel closer to your partner. You must check in with each other and understand that a healthy sex life takes constant commitment and to do this on a regular basis.
A disinterested intimate life is common, particularly for women after children. If you’re in this boat you can change this, female sexual pleasure is a learned skill, an education. Keeping in mind you love your partner, respect him and let go of any resentments you have been holding onto, you can get interested in sex again.
Here are my 5 top tips for women to be interested in sex again.
1. Needs Priority and Time
A great sex life does not just happen; it needs priority and time. As women, we need time for arousal. If a man’s sexual response is like a microwave, ours is a slow cooker, our anatomy needs time to be primed. Rethink the quickie and abandon faking; satisfaction is found once you’ve discovered turn-ons, techniques, rituals and touch that you like. Then apply them in a slow, sensuous way.
Women need sexual education that is pleasure-based. For instance, that your brain is the most important sex organ, and that you can rewire it to experience more pleasure via practice, touch, and imagination?
Understanding that good sex releases feel-good hormones that bond you and your partner, and that medications and a stressful lifestyle will zap your sex drive?
Learn to communicate your preferences to your partner in a connected way. Your sexual pleasure map may be complex, and your lover is not a mind reader! Create your sex menu together.
3. Worthiness and Self Esteem
Give yourself ‘permission’ to enjoy your beautiful, sensual self, and celebrate your desires and fantasies! Keep your spirit and self-love tank full with self-care activities. Worthiness means you don’t need a perfect body, relationship, or performance to enjoy pleasure; because confidence, skill and enjoyment are what make you a bliss-filled lover.
4. Emotional Connection
Sex with deep emotional connection is life’s greatest reward. It can be a challenge to create the safety, trust, and desire that both partners crave. Being able to communicate this to your partner, in a connecting and playful way, rather than the dreaded, ‘we need to talk.’ Is the ideal.
You here and now is my mantra. Being able to get out of your head and into pleasure; banish distracting thoughts, judgment, performance anxiety and furtively chasing orgasms. Mindful embodiment is being present in the moment with curiosity and being kind to yourself, with an awareness of body and senses. For a lot of women, this is the most difficult skill to practice as so many balls are up in the air.
A disappointing intimate life is common, but not forever, as female sexual pleasure is a learned skill! Transform your sex life and your life via intimacy with a decision to begin doing it differently. Happy to help, check out Ignite – https://www.helenharrison.com.au/ignite
Tune in to my Empowered Marriage Podcast to learn more. This fortnight’s podcast is available now and discusses this topic in more depth.
Top 5 Tips for women to be interested in sex again – https://www.powerofchange.com.au/empowered-marriage-podcast/